Grief and bereavement in the workplace

by Helen Bazlee

The death of someone close to you – a parent, spouse or partner, an old friend, a child – is a profound and disruptive experience. The experience of bereavement can take over every day life. Grief is likely to touch all workplaces, yet we are not always equipped to deal with it.

In Australia, employees are commonly entitled to two days paid leave upon the death of a member of their immediate family, which is enough time to organise and attend a funeral, but obviously does not accommodate the lengthy process of adjusting to life after the death of a loved one. It is inevitable then that grief is part of working life.

The response to grief is a demonstration of workplace values and culture. It is an opportunity to show and communicate care to employees. Extending compassion in the workplace does not have to be costly or disruptive. The most simple thing for work colleagues to do is to acknowledge the person’s loss. This is a simple human gesture. Sending flowers or another gift to the funeral or the person's home is a traditional way of expressing condolences. Wreaths are a popular choice for sending on behalf of a group.

Back at work, a manager who has the power to make any necessary accommodations should have a private conversation with the person to discuss what support or temporary changes would help. For some grieving people, the workplace supplies routine and social contact that offers respite and comfort. Others need time away. There is also middle ground, where work duties can be renegotiated, to reduce or change work responsibilities and allow flexibility where needed. For example, temporarily swapping a customer-facing or time-pressured role for back-office tasks might make the difference between leaving and staying for a valued employee. Everyone is different, so it is a mistake to make assumptions about the best way to help. It is best to check in with the person more than once to keep the lines of communication open.

For colleagues, a grieving workmate can be challenging. Many worry about saying the right thing, but there is no perfect response to someone else’s grief. Acknowledging the death - saying "I'm sorry for your loss" etc - is always right. Share memories, if you knew the person. Clichés and platitudes like "time heals all wounds" or "I know just how you feel" can sound hollow to the recently bereaved and are best avoided. Offer practical support if possible (don't overpromise), and make it specific - people will rarely take up general offers of help no matter how genuine, if only because they don't know what to ask.

More information:

• GriefLink
• Fair Work Australia - Australian government information about leave entitlements etc.
• Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement

See also:

• Colleague sympathy gifts